In addition to tackling a bunch of work projects, I have plans to do six fun/social things this weekend. You read that correctly. Six! I may not make it to all of them, but I know I'll get to at least three, and that's more fun than I typically like to experience in such a short period of time.
I will now send you off into the weekend with a list of things that, I admit, are fairly unrelated, but cut me some slack, okay? I found something awful a few days ago and I'm still a little shaken (more details below).
The Good:
I'm meeting up with some former coworkers for sweet, juicy margaritas and (hopefully) even juicier gossip. I'm way behind on my margarita quota. Don't think less of me, but I think I've only had two margaritas in 2013. How is that possible? Please, if you're reading this, help me get my life back on track.
The Bad:
Two nights ago I found a crisp roach's wing on the floor beside my bed. Thanks to a unique set of circumstances that involved my cat, a bit of torture, and a house slipper, I happen to know that the wing came from a roach that died almost a month ago! Yes, it's disgusting. Yes, it kept me up that night. Yes, I've been in a horrible mood since it happened. And yes, I'm thinking of investing in a professional cleaning service (because apparently cats don't lick everything up).
The Ugly:
Some misinformed deviant is selling a self-published version of Anne of Green Gables with the following cover image:
I will now send you off into the weekend with a list of things that, I admit, are fairly unrelated, but cut me some slack, okay? I found something awful a few days ago and I'm still a little shaken (more details below).
The Good:
I'm meeting up with some former coworkers for sweet, juicy margaritas and (hopefully) even juicier gossip. I'm way behind on my margarita quota. Don't think less of me, but I think I've only had two margaritas in 2013. How is that possible? Please, if you're reading this, help me get my life back on track.
The Bad:
Two nights ago I found a crisp roach's wing on the floor beside my bed. Thanks to a unique set of circumstances that involved my cat, a bit of torture, and a house slipper, I happen to know that the wing came from a roach that died almost a month ago! Yes, it's disgusting. Yes, it kept me up that night. Yes, I've been in a horrible mood since it happened. And yes, I'm thinking of investing in a professional cleaning service (because apparently cats don't lick everything up).
The Ugly:
Some misinformed deviant is selling a self-published version of Anne of Green Gables with the following cover image:
Who the hell is this?!
Where do I start? This is kind of like publishing an edition of The Bluest Eye with Tara Reid on the cover (she does have really blue eyes). Or a version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame featuring, oh, I don't know, a man with A STRAIGHT BACK.
Maybe the publisher chose this cover in a drunken stupor and totally overlooked this description, which appears in chapter 2 of the book when the reader is first introduced to Anne:
She wore a faded brown sailor hat and beneath the hat, extending down her back, were two braids of very thick, decidedly red hair.
Or one of Anne's first speeches, also in chapter 2:
"Now you see why I can't be perfectly happy. Nobody could who has red hair. I don't mind the other things so much--the freckles and the green eyes and my skinniness. I can imagine them away. I can imagine that I have a beautiful rose-leaf complexion and lovely starry violet eyes. But I cannot imagine that red hair away. I do my best. I think to myself, `Now my hair is a glorious black, black as the raven's wing.' But all the time I know it is just plain red and it breaks my heart. It will be my lifelong sorrow."
Or a little later when Anne denounces God for giving her red hair, or the part where she gets into a huge fight with a neighbor who comments on the horrible redness of her hair, or when she dyes her hair green and has to chop it all off, or after she breaks a slate over her future-husband's head because he made fun of her red-ass hair.
"Red hair" could be the most common phrase in this book, is what I'm saying. It's also worth noting that Anne would never wear a flannel shirt and strike a come-hither pose on a haystack. Unless Josie Pye dared her to.
Maybe the publisher chose this cover in a drunken stupor and totally overlooked this description, which appears in chapter 2 of the book when the reader is first introduced to Anne:
She wore a faded brown sailor hat and beneath the hat, extending down her back, were two braids of very thick, decidedly red hair.
Or one of Anne's first speeches, also in chapter 2:
"Now you see why I can't be perfectly happy. Nobody could who has red hair. I don't mind the other things so much--the freckles and the green eyes and my skinniness. I can imagine them away. I can imagine that I have a beautiful rose-leaf complexion and lovely starry violet eyes. But I cannot imagine that red hair away. I do my best. I think to myself, `Now my hair is a glorious black, black as the raven's wing.' But all the time I know it is just plain red and it breaks my heart. It will be my lifelong sorrow."
Or a little later when Anne denounces God for giving her red hair, or the part where she gets into a huge fight with a neighbor who comments on the horrible redness of her hair, or when she dyes her hair green and has to chop it all off, or after she breaks a slate over her future-husband's head because he made fun of her red-ass hair.
"Red hair" could be the most common phrase in this book, is what I'm saying. It's also worth noting that Anne would never wear a flannel shirt and strike a come-hither pose on a haystack. Unless Josie Pye dared her to.
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